Banished

Whenever a teacher assigns a typical writing exercise such as “What I Did On My Summer Vacation” or “My Hero” I roll my eyes just like the other kids do. It's time for teachers to assign something different and exciting, like “Canines: Are They Doggedly Determined To Eat Your Homework?” or “The Fine Art of Discretion: How To Answer A Woman's Questions Truthfully Without Incurring Her Wrath.” Now those would be totally awesome writing exercises for kids in Grade 7 as far as I'm concerned. Unfortunately, teachers rarely agree with their students on this point.

In September, my teacher gave us a much more traditional writing exercise. We were to imagine that we were on a deserted island for a year. We were supposedly on this deserted island with five tools of our choosing. I thought for a moment. Five tools. Who would they be?

My mind was jolted back to reality as I realized the teacher meant inanimate objects…so I rejigged my thinking to accommodate the new information.

I began to think about this, and the more I thought about it the more I liked it. Alone on a deserted island with only my imagination to crowd me. This was good. In fact, this was very good. It sounded like an ideal place for a kid like me with Asperger Syndrome. Alas, my hopes were short-lived.

According to my teacher, we were to have one other person on the island with us. Excuse me? One MORE person on this deserted island? ONE? What fun was that going to be? And besides, if the island was deserted there wouldn't be anyone else on the island. And if there was someone else on that island, you couldn't claim it was deserted now, could you?

I had already decided before she announced this latest bit that it would do me a world of good to spend some time alone, away from the rest of the busy universe. As luck would have it, my teacher just had to stick another person in my writing assignment world and interrupt what had been, up to that point, the beginnings of a totally impressive daydream.

At home, I paced the floors furiously as I tried to think of a different angle and a unique perspective. Front room, kitchen, foyer, front room, kitchen, foyer, front room, kitchen, foyer. The floor tiles began to wear into a barely perceptible, but very real, rut. I wanted to find an approach to the assignment that the other students wouldn't think of writing. Suddenly it came to me, and I started to write.

This is what I wrote.